This morning at 5:30am the phone rang, waking us all up. I went back to sleep reasonably quickly, but it was disturbing nonetheless. It puzzles me that no-one has created a simple PBX for home users. I'm sure I would like the phone more (or, at least, hate it less) if people had to go through a menu to reach me.
Thank you for calling! Your call is very important to us. Some of the options have recently changed, so please listen to this entire message. Your call may be monitored for quality control purposes. Figures do not move on their own. This is a limited offer -- batteries not included -- packaging may differ.
If you know your party's extension, you may enter it at any time time during this message.
If this is an unsolicited call, please add this number to your "do not call" list.
Personal phone calls are accepted between the hours of 9am and 8pm. Unless you know the extension of the party you're trying to reach, please leave a message.
Press 1 to leave a message
Press 2 for directory information
Press 3 to hear a pre-recorded greeting from our boxer dog Plato
Press 4 for more options.Or stay on the line to be connected to a random 1-900 number at your expense.
I hate telephones.
Alisa provided some 
more fodder for my phone message.
Your call will be answered in the order in which it was received. You are number nine-thousand four-hundred and fifty-three. Your call is important to us. So, don't hang up, or you will lose your place in line!
I had forwarded Alisa the link to This Is Broken when it was referenced on boingboing or wherever I saw it, but I hadn't seen that one.